I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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