Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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