their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
