new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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