that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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