dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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