Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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