He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
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