U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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