i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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