D3 body, D1 cock
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
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