just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
