is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Come share oat with me in your robe
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
