the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
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I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
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My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize