One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
