it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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