how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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