i just wanna soil my oats bro
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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