He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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