Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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