jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize