I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
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I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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