I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
