I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
