how can u be prego again
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
