i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize