How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
how can u be prego again
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
