Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
