I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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