Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
