It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
