these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
