wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
