I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
