I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we made out on top of his cat.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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