I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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