god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
