how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
