Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Still dying that you shit outside
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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