On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize