This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
