u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
