i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
