Already got asked if we're dating
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
