he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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