I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he puts the penis in happiness.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
