we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
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Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Who put my cat in the fridge?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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