also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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