when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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