so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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