he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
