What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
