you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
