bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
