she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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