Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
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I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
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that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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